Blissful Deviant's Blog

Hi all

Due for an update or what? Sheesh!

Sorry y'all...

I went overseas to spend a few weeks with my family. Lets say, a few days is all I need at any given time but you know, we’re all scattered all over the place, it’s rare to get all of us in the same state let alone the same room at the same time, so it was nice to have everyone together definitely got my fix for the next 6 months or so though! I think it’s probably true when Malik says I have outgrown my family. Not in a bad way, just that I’m in a different place in my life… My family is sort of like superglue, even though we’re rarely together, everyone is all involved in everyone’s business. I have one of those super close families, where everyone is in constant contact, and everyone “needs” to know absolutely everything that’s going on with everyone else. My parents start getting seriously concerned if they haven’t spoken to me for 2 days. It’s nice, I like that we’re close, and I know that a lot of people wish they had a close-knit family like mine. But, at the same time, I feel like the places I want to go in life, the things I want to do, even just my way of thinking and viewing the world… I need space. I want independence. I know I won’t get that emotionally until I can do that financially but that’s a whole other story. Anyway, rambling! In short, I have been with my family! Hence the disappearing act.

Next week is a big week for me. I got accepted to my dream uni! I’ve been working towards getting there for years, and now I’m finally here… And trying not to shit myself! I feel a lot of pressure weighing down on me. There’s an expectation – from everyone – that I will be the best at anything I do. I like that people have confidence in me, but I wish it was just that – confidence rather than pressure. I specifically chose units which are unfamiliar to me, things I have no experience in. I didn’t want to choose subjects I’m already good at. I’m not working towards any particular degree or goal, I’m studying purely for fun, to expand my mind, to try something new. I’m excited about the topics I chose, I hope uni will be an enjoyable challenge.

Also next week, I have an interview with the top courtesan escort agency in Australia. They provide oldschool courtesan training, exactly what I want to learn. I hope they accept me! They’ve already said I have the right look and personality and mind and all that… I saw them a while ago, they suggested a couple of things for me to do and said to come back after that so… I’ve done it all, and here goes nothin!

That’s about all the news… Other than the situation with Malik, but we all know that needs a blog of its own

xo

Forgot to mention I’m overseas right now hehe I’ll be back mid-feb. Having fun chilling with my family for a bit

Everything is alllll good, Mal and I are good (ahem, no, not together), everything is good…

Will update when I get home again

xoxo

Y’all can read the entry now

xxx

I suppose this whole thing has been a bit of a shock to everyone. It was for us. I guess, sort of lol.

It happened randomly, quietly, casually. There was a fairly innocuous statement made during a quick call about what our plans were for the evening, and following that we somehow found ourselves agreeing that it’s best for us to just be friends for a while. There was no big fight or major drama, it just sort of happened. The few words that set this into motion weren’t intended as they were received, but I think that regardless of how or why we got here, it’s probably a good thing.

I’m not quite sure how to explain what we are or how this whole friends idea is going to work. I think he and I need to figure that out before I provide an explanation It’s tricky, neither of us have changed how we view the other – he considers me his, I don’t disagree with him – so it’s obviously going to be really weird and strange, trying to treat each other as friends (ie equals) when we both know there always has been and always will be more to us than pure friendship. I think it’s probably going to be harder on him hehehe y’all know how much of a control freak he is, how hard it is for him to let go of power once he has it ah well.

So, even though this friendship thing may take a bit of adjusting to, I think it’s going to be beneficial to us in the long run if we ever [want to] have the future we planned. I want to take some time to just be young and free, experience a bit of life on my own, not have to answer to anyone. I want to stand up and be recognised just as/for me, not defined by anything or anyone. I need to be selfish for a while. There are things I’ve wanted to do for a long time – things Malik has encouraged me to pursue – but I held myself back, I never had the balls to step out on my own and do what I wanted. Or to be more precise, I seem to force myself to choose. The best example would be travel – I’m desperate to travel more, I also love what we have together. I want them both, but I let go of things when I’m devoted to someone, other pursuits don’t seem as significant, they don’t get any weighting. I need to do these things though, and in order to do them I need to be selfish – I’m not selfish when I’m with him, I don’t focus on me so much, I focus on him. I choose “us” over “me” – and “us” is great, but people all need to be selfish to a certain degree – for your own benefit, and sometimes for the benefit of others too.

Enough rambling. I’ll put up more coherent thoughts when I can lol.

I shall end with this sickening cliche – you know what they say, if you love something, let it go… Right now this is difficult and strange, but at the end of the day, we’re still us – and if he truly believes the things he has told me for the last decade, nothing will break that. Not being together right now doesn’t change the core of who we are to each other, it just means the outside looks a lil different

xox

• Don’t trust anyone, especially not a man
• Don’t move across the country for anyone
• Don’t put your life on hold for anyone
• Never believe a word that comes out of a mans mouth

So yep I’m moving overseas now, cheers for the lessons.

Hi y’all

Apologies for the lack of updates, this time of year is quite difficult for me. I’m just counting down till Jan 3rd, when I usually start feeling better…

Hope you’re all well and have a good holiday season

Xoxo

Today was appalling.

I was humiliated at work, cried for 2 hours, then boozed it up in my office to get through the rest of the day.

Does anyone else hate their job this much or is it just me? The shit that happens at my workplace is unbelievable – but everyone keeps insisting I’m just naïve and that everywhere is like this. Say it aint so!!

May have to change my goal in life from working in this industry, to being a trophy wife

On the plus side, Daddy is on his way home right now and we’re going out for dinner so that’s nice. I want him to be sweet and give me cuddles but we all know that aint his style lol he will be direct and tell me that yeh, today was a shitty day but this is reality so I need to man up lol. Maybe he’ll surprise me hahaha.

Xox

You get all aggro at something… And the person defends their actions and wound up seeming really nice? Yah… Me too lol

There’s not much to write about really…

A rugby player got caught “simulating” a dog um … Having fun with his junk… Pics are all over the internet… How bizarre! Malik sent me the pic lol I was a lil like “ermm… Interesting? Whaaa???” hahaha. What a sicko

xox

Busy as always!

Papa is sick right now so we’ve had a pretty quiet week. I’ve been flat out at my new job – loving it! It’s going so well

This weekend is a no-go but hopefully we can get away for a bit the following weekend and catch up on all ze naughtiness! Ha ha.

Life is going pretty well… I’m one of those sad nutters who keeps old clothes that used to fit lol I tried on some jeans from what I refer to as my “premium hotness” age… And… They fit perfectly. WOOT!!!

I need to focus on some things a bit more than I have been… Needing to prove myself to Papa. I’m thinking about moving, as part of this whole ahh focus thing.

Anyhoo this entry won’t make any sense to anyone other than me and Daddy sooooo I’ll just say life is pretty good, all love health and happiness, and I am of course, still alive… Just crazy busy and a wee bit distracted by all the other things going on right now!

xox