Screw you, universe.
I’ve mostly gotten over my frustration now – feeling more disappointed about it all more than anything. I was so looking forward to hardcore whoring all weekend, got so excited ‘knowing’ it was going to happen, and it just sucks when things that are completely out of my control end up fucking up and forcing a change of plans.
I can sometimes be a little guarded in my responses to Malik when we’re planning stuff – it frustrates him and gives him the wrong impression of how I really feel. I explained to him, it’s not that I’m not craving… It’s just that I would hate to get completely excited about something and then be let down. It makes the disappointment so much worse, the sting lasts longer. He insists I let go anyway, allow myself to be engulfed, consumed, thoroughly excited with no hesitation, silencing the little voice in my head that says “don’t get too excited, something could fall through”.
So I did – I let go of the cautious thoughts and let myself really feel the excitement, focussed on how much I was looking forward to whoring rather than contemplating that anything could fuck our plans up. Really, I just blatantly expressed what I always feel but rarely show (purely because I hate being genuinely disappointed).
And things fucked up.
It was frustrating and annoying, but mostly disappointing. I felt more let down than I have in a long time because I hadn’t ‘protected’ myself, hadn’t held back a little, hadn’t prepared myself for potential disappointment. I was so excited, and I loved not being so cautious, just letting go and experiencing the hyperactivity and eagerness. But yeah, it did sting more when the universe conspired against us and threw a spanner in the works!
But you know what… It was still a fucking awesome weekend!
I still whored, still made Daddy money with this cunt. I loved whoring again, seeing different clients, walking out and handing over the cash to Malik, having him feel how wet my cunt was just from being his little whore. HOT HOT HOT! Just spurred me on to do more of it. Can’t believe how much I’ve missed it! Maybe I needed the fuck arounds and to really feel this disappointment in order to fully realise just how much I’ve missed it all.
Cest la vie, eh?
Of course, the only upsetting part of the weekend was the issues with whoring. Any weekend with Malik is a fucking awesome weekend, and this was no exception! He pounded my cunt, hurt my fuckhole… Fucked me with a bottle. WOW! Soooo deep, so stretched out. He spat in my cunt while my hole was gaping open and begging to be filled (HOTTTTT!! I love it when he treats me like his filthy bitch and spits on me but damn, feeling him spit into my cunt after he made me gape for him was a whole other level of ecstasy!). He took a few videos, stretched my cunt out soooo much, then pounded me even harder when I got super tight again minutes later.
He choked me out till my eyes rolled back into my head, until everything went black and my body went limp. I love ‘coming to’ and trying to wake up, trying to focus my eyes. I love that the first thing I can remember is the look in his eyes as he looks into my semi-conscious haze filled face and says “Ooooh you’re back hey?” then pounds me harder, using his cock to wake me up and bring me back to reality. Mmmmm.
The best part, I think, was Daddy saying he loved this weekend, that I hadn’t disappointed him at all, that I should feel proud of what did happen rather than disappointed about what didn’t. He said I showed him exactly what I am, what I want, where I’m at. I confirmed what he knew anyway – that we’re in the same place, we’re on the right track, we’re more in sync than ever.
Well, that, and how incredible my cunt felt for Daddy after being such a dirty bitch hehe 
Loved spreading my legs for him, offering him my whored out fuckhole, knowing that being used and filled by other cocks makes my cunt feel even better - tighter, wetter, more desperate – than usual.
Mmmmmm and wouldn’t you know it, I’m still so fucking wet!
